Love's Simplicities and Complexities
by djchika
Summary: Set after Birthday and... I forget what the episode in Buffy it's parallel with. Angel drives off in anger and ends up in Sunnydale. A talk with Buffy helps both their relationships.
1. Chapter 3

Title: Love's Simplicities and Complexities   
Author: djchika   
Disclaimer: The characters in the Angelverse were created by Joss Whedon & David Greenwalt. No infringement is intended, no profit is made  
  
Angel drove blindly, his hands clutching the steering wheel tightly. After taking care of the demon at Glendale he had dropped Wes and Gunn off at the hotel and had just driven off. He wasn't sure where he was headed but he did know that he couldn't go back to the hotel. Going to the hotel would mean facing Cordelia and having their talk and he couldn't, not yet, his emotions were too raw. The whole time Cordy was in a coma he couldn't allow himself to get mad at her for not telling him about the visions. He was too scared that she might never wake up again, but now that he knew she was going to be fine he could let himself feel the anger and frustration he had been bottling up all day.   
  
How dare she scare him like that? Not since the first time Buffy died, did he feel so incredibly afraid for one person. It terrified him to think that he might lose her, that he came so close to losing her. He may act completely clueless sometimes but he knew exactly what it meant. He was in love with Cordelia Chase. The kind of love that petrified him and made his unbeating heart soar and ache at the same time. It was the sort of love he had felt for Buffy, and a lot more.   
  
Angel took a look at his surrounding for the first time in hours. He wasn't sure but there was something familiar about the road he was on. "I'm going to Sunnydale." He realized. Sure enough a after a few more minutes of driving the bashed Welcome to Sunnydale sign came into view.   
  
"I'm already in the neighborhood, might as well drop by." Expertly navigating the roads of Sunnydale Angel parked in front of Buffy's house and sat there not sure what to do next. The decision was taken from him when Buffy came out of the house and recognized the Plymouth.   
  
"Angel?"   
  
Angel gave her a slight nod. "Hey Buffy, wanna go for a drive?"   
  
She took a quick glance at the house and shrugged. "Sure." A few minutes of silence passed between the two of them before Buffy broke it. "So where are we going?"   
  
"I'm not sure." Angel replied never taking his eyes of the road.   
  
"Oh." Buffy eyes darted to the road then back Angel. "What are you doing in Sunnydale?"   
  
"Not sure either."   
  
"So you just happened to drive by?"   
  
Angel shrugged almost sheepishly. "Sorta."   
  
"Angel..."   
  
The vampire sighed. "I was driving to let off steam and just found myself here, wasn't really something I planned"   
  
Buffy stayed silent for a few seconds. "Who are you mad at?"   
  
"What?"   
  
"You said you were driving to let off steam. Who're you mad at?"   
  
Angel hesitated. "No one."   
  
"It can't be no one if you're mad enough to drive all the way to Sunnydale." Buffy stated logically.   
  
"I'm mad at Cordy."   
  
"Cordy?" Buffy asked perplexed. "You were mad at Cordy so you let off steam all the way to Sunnydale? I know she can be annoying but I never thought she annoyed you that much"   
  
"She didn't annoy me," Angel replied quickly coming to Cordy's defense. "I'm mad at her coz she kept some stuff from me, from us. Stuff that she should have let us know."   
  
"Well, Cordelia never was the most selfless person in the world."   
  
Buffy startled when Angel growled at her. "You don't know Cordy."   
  
"Okay, so I never really got to know her," Buffy relented. "But I did spend three years of high school with her so I think that constitutes as knowing her."   
  
Angel shook his head. "You knew Cordelia. You don't know Cordy."   
  
"What's the difference?"   
  
"Cordelia was Sunnydale, Cordy's LA"   
  
"I see your point." Buffy said drolly.   
  
"The Cordelia you knew and the Cordy I know are different people. Not completely different but different enough for you to not know her." When Buffy gave him a quizzical look Angel continued. "Cordy's changed. She helps the helpless, fight the good fight even when she doesn't have to. She endures excruciatingly painful visions that could help me in my redemption. She complains about it but she didn't say a thing when she found out the visions were killing her." Buffy noticed Angel's grip on the steering wheel tighten as he spoke. "She thought I needed the visions, more than I needed her." He glanced at Buffy. "That's the stuff she kept from us. Months of doctors telling her that her brain was dying part by part, she kept quiet because she knew that I'd worry. And she was right. It was her birthday today, we had planned to surprise her but there was a vision. It knocked her into a coma. It, I couldn't do anything to help her, even pleading with the powers accomplished nothing and I was so afraid. I couldn't bear to think that I might never see her smile, that I might never see her hold Connor again."   
  
"Connor?" Buffy interrupted for the first time.   
  
"My son." Angel gave her an apologetic look. "I'm sorry I never told you. It's a long story involving lawyers and Darla and a beige period."   
  
Buffy recognized the name but made no comment. "I understand. I never really got around to telling you that the guys pulled me out of heaven." She gave Angel a small smile when she saw the shocked look on his face. "It was a shock to them too, but I'm fine, I'm dealing. The guys try to help but all they really do is smother me. At least Spike understands."   
  
Angel gave her a strange look. "Spike?"   
  
"Yeah," Buffy smiled at how absurd it must sound to Angel. "I guess he's changed too. Still cocky and annoying but I can always count on him to be there. He never left even though I did everything to make him go." Buffy took a quick glance at Angel to make sure he didn't take any offence to what she said, when it was apparent he didn't Buffy went back to the topic of Cordy. "So you and Cordelia, are you..."   
  
"No." Was the terse reply.   
  
"But you love her." Buffy stated uncharacteristically perceptive.   
  
Angel sighed. "Yeah."   
  
Buffy watched the Angel's face for a moment. "She doesn't know does she?"   
  
"No, how can I tell her? You know what happened to us." Angel motioned between the two of them. "Besides she has this idea that we're the eternal couple. I know she loves me but-"   
  
"You know."   
  
"Yeah, I know she loves me." Angel replied completely sure. "But not the way I want her to, at least I don't think so."   
  
"Only one way to find out."   
  
Angel watched the road for a moment. "It's not that simple."   
  
"Things are never simple when it comes to love." Buffy stated philosophically.   
  
"I guess not." Angel smiled at her. He took a quick right to take them back to Buffy's house. "I know someone who always found love to be simple enough though."   
  
"Who?"   
  
"Spike. Even he was human and a complete dork he was always no nonsense when it comes to love. It never matters to him what the circumstances are all he know is that he's in love."   
  
"Yeah, he never quits either. I guess that's one of the things I love about him" Buffy's eyes widened when she realized what she said.   
  
"I guess I'm not the only one who's a fool when it comes to love." Angel replied smiling.   
  
"I guess not. But my job's a little easier than what you're going to have to do." Angel stopped in front of Buffy's house and watched the slayer smile when she saw Spike on the porch. Spike flicked his cigarette away and stalked to the car. The expression on the vampires face was one anger but Angel could smell a small almost, indiscernible trace of fear.   
  
"Buffy, where in the bloody hell have you-" He stopped mid sentence when he saw Angel. "Peaches, what are you doing here?"   
  
"Nice to see you too Spike," Angel said sarcastically.   
  
Spike glanced at Angel then at Buffy. "Where have the two of you been?" He asked openly glaring at his grandsire.   
  
"We were just driving around, talking." Buffy replied getting out of the car.   
  
"Talking?" Spike asked watching the slayers face to make sure she wasn't lying.   
  
Buffy smiled at the vampire's possessiveness. "Yup. I'll see you around Angel."   
  
"Bye Buffy, and thanks."   
  
"Good luck." She said her eyes twinkling.   
  
Angel smiled, glancing at Spike then at her. "You too."   
  
Buffy watched in silence as her former vampire, now Cordy's, drove away.   
  
"So." Spike said almost nonchalantly.   
  
Buffy smiled at her vampire then started for the house and sat down on the porch. She knew Spike was trying to act like he didn't care that she was just with Angel.   
  
"What did the two of you talk about?" He asked sitting next to her.   
  
"Nothing much. Angel has a son."   
  
The blatant confusion on his face made Buffy smile. "How'd he manage that?"   
  
"We didn't really get to talk about that."   
  
Buffy leaned on Spike enjoying the way his arms automatically went around her.   
  
"What else did you talk about?"   
  
Buffy bit her lip thoughtfully. "The simplicities and complexities of love."   
  
"Oh."   
  
She heard the uncertainty in his voice but chose not to reassure him, yet. "Hey, Spike? How do you feel about a trip to LA. I think there are a couple of people we need to meet."   
  
Buffy felt Spike tense then felt his body move as he sighed. "I'll follow you to hell and back, unfortunately you know that."   
  
"I'll make sure you won't have to." Buffy replied playfully before turning to face him and placing a kiss on his cheek. "But before we go I think we need to talk."   
  
"About?"   
  
"Love's simplicities and complexities." 


	2. Chapter 1

Cordelia was on the verge of completely and totally freaking out. It was three in the morning and Angel was still no where to be found.   
  
"When that stupid vampire of a vampire of yours gets home I'm going to so kick the crap out of him." She mumbled as she cradled Connor in her arms trying to make him go back to sleep. "He didn't even bring his cell phone!" She added glaring at the object haphazardly thrown on the bed. "He's been gone for hours and it's almost dawn."   
  
Cordy huffed not noticing she was steadily rising until her head hit the ceiling, she was still *not* getting used to the demon thing. Breathing deeply she willed herself to calm down. She felt herself slowly float down and smiled at Connor. "At least he isn't here to lecture me about keeping secrets; hah he's one to talk!" Cordelia retorted changing gears immediately. "Stupid vampire. For all I know he could be in sunny Acapulco right now. Okay maybe not." Cordy's mind grasped an improbable but still possible idea. "But he can be in Sunnydale!"   
  
Hastily, but careful not to jostle Connor, Cordy picked up the phone and dialed Buffy's number. If that doofus is there he is so gonna get it.   
  
~~~~~~~~~~~   
  
The sound of the phone ringing forced Buffy to tear her eyes away from the shocked but pleased look on Spike's face. "I'd better get that."   
  
Hurrying into the house Buffy grabbed the phone on the third ring. "Hello?"   
  
"Buffy! Hi, I know it's really late and you may think this is a really crazy question but is Angel there?"   
  
It took a moment for Buffy to recognize the voice. "Cordy? No. Angel isn't here." She was almost certain Cordy just growled. "Well thanks and sor-"   
  
"But he was here," Buffy interrupted. "He just left."   
  
The line went silent and Buffy thought the line had gone dead. "Hello?"   
  
"He was there and you let him leave?" Cordy hissed.   
  
"I couldn't exactly chain him to the house."   
  
"Why not?"   
  
Buffy shook her head at Cordelia's absurd logic. "Cordelia..."   
  
"The sun's going to rise in a few hours," Cordelia continued ignoring Buffy. "What if he doesn't get home on time? What if his car breaks down in the middle of the road and there's no shelter? What if, what if he forgets he's a vampire and thinks the sun won't hurt him!" Buffy laughed out loud at the last reason. "Cor-"   
  
"Okay, so maybe that one can't happen ever but still!"   
  
"Cordelia, calm down I'm sure he'll be fine."   
  
"Calm down?! If I end up a widowed single mother it'll be all your fault." Buffy heard a baby start crying before she winced when the phone was dropped with a thunk. "Connor, honey, no don't cry. I'm not upset. See, Cordy happy." Connor stopped crying almost immediately. "Buffy? Sorry, Connor got a little upset."   
  
"Connor's awake?"   
  
"Yeah, I think he's trying to be all nocturnal like his daddy. Wait, how'd you know about Connor?" Cordy demanded.   
  
"Angel told me."   
  
"He told you?" Cordelia repeated suspiciously.   
  
"Yeah something about Darla and a cream period?"   
  
"Beige." Cordy corrected offhandedly. "Are you sure you didn't stake him?"   
  
"I didn't stake him." Buffy assured her. "Can I talk to him?"   
  
"I told you he isn't here." Cordelia snapped.   
  
"No, I meant Connor."   
  
The request seemed to surprise Cordelia, and she it took a few seconds to answer. "Oh. Um, sure."   
  
Buffy waited until she was sure Cordelia had the phone up to Connor's ear. "Hey, I'm not really sure if you understand but I'm aunt Buffy. Keep your mommy calm until Daddy gets home, okay? I'm sure an angry Cordy isn't going to help with what he needs to do. I'll see you in a few hours." Buffy heard Connor gurgle, took that as a positive reaction. She waited a few seconds until Cordy took the phone again. "Are you done?"   
  
"Yeah."   
  
"Well whatever you said I think he liked it."   
  
Buffy chuckled then remembered that Spike was waiting for her. "Hey Cordy, if you don't need anything else, I was kind of in the middle of something..."   
  
"I guess not. Wait what was Angel doing in Sunnydale?"   
  
"He said he just happened to pass by."   
  
"He just happened to pass by?" Cordy repeated disbelievingly.   
  
"Yup."   
  
"He lives two hours away and he just happened to pass by?"   
  
"That's what he said."   
  
This time Buffy was sure Cordy growled. "Angel who lives in L.A. just happened to pass by Sunnydale which is two hours away at three in the morning?! He must have needed to see you really bad."   
  
Buffy squirmed at the implication. "He didn't come to see me. I don't think he was really planning on coming here at all."   
  
Cordy chuckled a little too bitterly. "Oh sure, he just happened to drive by. Buffy, neither of us is stupid enough to believe that. He went there because of you. Even if he doesn't brood all that much, it's still always you with him."   
  
"Not anymore. Angel and I were over a long time ago." It was the first time Buffy said that and really wanted someone to believe it, but unfortunately, Cordy, like all the others, didn't.   
  
"Yeah, right."   
  
Buffy sighed at the former cheerleader's stubbornness. "Cordy, you and I may not be stupid, but I think both of us are a little blind. I mean look at you, you're at Angel's place taking care of his son worrying about Angel, what do you think that means?"   
  
"That Angel is a really insensitive vampire?"   
  
"Look, I really can't tell you anything, but believe me when I say that Angel didn't come here because of me. If you want, you can ask him when he gets home." Buffy added before Cordy can interrupt.   
  
"If he ever gets home." Cordy sniped. "And if he does questions aren't the only thing I'm going to throw at him. Sorry for calling you so late Buffy, I'll talk to you... soon."   
  
Sooner than you think Buffy thought, "Sure. Bye." Buffy placed the phone on its cradle and walked back to her waiting vampire.   
  
"Who was that?"   
  
"Cordy, she was looking for Angel." Buffy replied sitting next to him. "I think it's safe to say she's really pissed."   
  
Spike grinned at her. "Peaches is gonna get it when he gets home."   
  
"Too bad I won't be there to see it." Buffy agreed. "So where were we?"   
  
Spike pretended to think carefully.   
  
"Don't hurt yourself." Buffy chided him   
  
Spike scowled at her then kissed her lightly on the nose. "If I remember correctly you said something about being glad that I'm always here and that you're incredibly grateful that I stayed when no else did and..." Spike paused. "There was something else." He shrugged "Guess I forgot."   
  
"Let me refresh your memory then." Buffy stared into bright blue eyes that she never would have thought could hold so much love for her. "I," she kissed his cheek lightly. "Love," Buffy placed another kiss on his nose. "You." She kissed him full on the mouth, moaning when Spike deepened the kiss.   
  
Pulling away slowly Spike bestowed upon her the biggest smile she'd seen from him. "Yeah, I think that was it." He pulled her into his arms and chuckle when she yawned. "Sleepy, luv?"   
  
Buffy smiled at the endearment and nodded.   
  
Spike helped her up. "Come on then sleeping beauty lets get you to bed."   
  
"Wanna come with?"   
  
"I thought you wanted to sleep?"   
  
"I do," Buffy smiled at him. "Just thought you might want to help sleeping beauty get sleepy."   
  
"Doesn't the prince wake up sleeping beauty?"   
  
"Yeah, but you're not exactly the noble prince. You're more of the big bad dragon."   
  
"That I am and don't you forget it." Buffy shrieked when Spike swept her into his arms. "Come on princess, the big bad's taking you to the tower to ravish you."   
  
Buffy wrapped her arms around Spike's neck and lid her head on his chest. "Tomorrow we'll go visit another fairy tale." 


	3. Chapter 2

Angel arrived to a completely silent hotel, which at almost 5 in the morning wasn't really all that strange. Making sure not to make a sound, so as not to wake up the steadily growing occupants of the hotel, Angel made his way up to his room. The sight that greeted him made an unusual warmth spread across his chest. No matter how many times he had already seen Cordelia and Connor together the sight never failed to make him smile, but this time the sight left an ache in his heart as well.   
  
"You can quit staring now," Cordy said before opening her eyes.   
  
Angel started to smile at her but the scowl on Cordelia's face made him hesitate. "Hey."   
  
"Hey," Cordy replied. Carefully, so as not to wake up the sleeping baby, she got up from the bed and sat on the edge facing away from Angel.   
  
Angel waited for the barrage of questions and/or lecture that he was sure was going to come but when Cordelia let the silence stretch out Angel instantly felt anxious. When it became apparent she wasn't going to be talking, anxiety quickly turned to fear. Silence from Cordelia was never good. "Cordy?" Angel asked walking over to her.   
  
Angel wasn't prepared for the sight of Cordelia fighting back tears. Acting on reflex he kneeled down in front of her and hugged her to his chest gently rubbing her hair.   
  
It took a few seconds for Cordy to speak. "I really hate you, you know that."   
  
"What?" Angel pulled her away from him so he could look at her face.   
  
"You just left. You didn't tell anyone where you were going. You didn't even bring your cell phone with you," Angel noticed the phone on the bed for the first time, "You could have been anywhere from being a dust pile somewhere, to being in Alaska."   
  
Angel smiled at her trying to lighten the mood. "If I was going to Alaska I'd still be on the plane."   
  
"And then I find out that you were in Sunnydale with her," Cordy continued ignoring his comment.   
  
The smile left Angel's face. "How'd you..."   
  
"I called Buffy."   
  
"Oh." Feeling uncomfortable and not entirely sure where the safe path lay Angel asked the safest question. "So what did she say?"   
  
"She said you just dropped by." The tone of her voice implied that she didn't believe a word.   
  
"I did just drop by," Angel defended himself.   
  
Cordy sighed. "Angel, no one drives to their ex-girlfriend's town, two hours away just to "drop by." "   
  
The air quotes at "drop by" made Angel want to smile but he knew better than to do that.   
  
"I did. I was driving past and thought I'd drop by." Angel repeated.   
  
"Driving past?" Cordelia looked at him skeptically. "How far were you planning on going?   
  
Angel cast her a sheepish look. "I didn't really plan on where I was going. I was driving because I was mad at you."   
  
It was Cordy's turn to feel uncomfortable. "Oh."   
  
Angel took Cordelia's hands in his. "Cordy, why didn't you tell me about the visions?"   
  
"Why didn't you tell me where you were going?" Cordy challenged him.   
  
"I told you I wasn't really planning on going anywhere," Angel replied exasperated, "And don't change the subject."   
  
Cordelia's eyebrows shot up. "You're the one who was changing the subject. I was mad at you first you wouldn't-"   
  
"Cordy." Angel interrupted her gently.   
  
Cordelia sighed. "I didn't tell you because I knew that you were going to find a way to take them away."   
  
"And you thought if I found a way to take the visions away, I wouldn't need you anymore." Angel sighed. "I already told you the visions aren't why I need you."   
  
"Oh yeah? She's just a rich girl from Sunnydale; she's weak, she-" Cordy stopped, trying to fight back angry tears. "I'm sorry I couldn't remember the words you used exactly."   
  
"I'm more scared of her dying than she is. That's what I said afterwards. And it's true." Angel stared at their intertwined hands not sure how to go on. "During the whole time you were unconscious there was no other emotion I felt but fear. I was just so afraid. I thought I'd never see you, I'd never see you smile." Angel's eyes drifted to his sleeping son. "I thought I'd never see you hold Connor again. Never hear you sing to him." Angel turned his gaze back to Cordelia. "But most of all I was scared I'd never be able to tell you that I love you." Cordelia eyes met his, her mouth quickly opening to speak but Angel shook his head. "Before you say anything just listen to me. You are my co-worker, you're my seer and the woman who I want my son to think of as his mother, but most of all you are my friend, and because you're my friend I love you." Angel took a moment to look at Cordelia, gently brushing a lock of hair away from her face. "But Cordy, I don't love you just because you're my friend. It's more than that. I love you simply because I do."   
  
By the time Angel had finished tears were streaming down Cordy's face. "I hate you."   
  
Angel just stared at her in surprise, not anticipating her reaction.   
  
"You just had to go and make me cry didn't you, on my birthday too." Cordelia smiled at him.   
  
Angel felt the ache he felt earlier return when it seemed like Cordy didn't reciprocate his feelings but he smiled back, happy at least that she was all right. "Technically it's the day after your birthday."   
  
"Yeah, but I was in a coma most of the day of my birthday so I get a do over."   
  
Angel nodded in agreement. "Why don't we celebrate your birthday later. Right now let's get some sleep."   
  
"Sleep is good," Cordelia replied.   
  
Angel stood up moving to his closet to change his clothes. The ache in his heart still hasn't left and he knew it would take some time before it did but he was satisfied for now. He had Connor and Cordy was safe. Angel heart constricted as he watched Cordy curl closer to Connor, her eyes drifting close. He lay down on the bed and just watched the two most important people in his life sleep.   
  
"Angel." Cordy whispered.   
  
Angel eyes met hers. "Yeah."   
  
"I love you too, and not just as a friend."   
  
With those words deeply embedded in his heart, Angel's eyes drifted close, savoring the moment's perfection. 


End file.
